God! I was in that gorgeous woman’s bed this weekend. In her.The last time she yelled at me, somehow it got through to me and suddenly I couldn’t see or hear anything but the little blue ball as it flew around the room. I was the ball. It was wherever I was. I simply couldn’t miss.I think it is the first time I ever beat Lissa in a match. And I was sure she hadn’t held back. When she called out the final score it didn’t even register in my brain that I’d won. When she wrapped her arms around me for a hug, we squished together like a couple of wet sponges. Then it hit me. I’d just won. Man I felt great! I could just do this forever.We left the court and two guys I didn’t recognize were standing outside. I hadn’t really been aware of them before, but I vaguely remembered seeing them when I went onto the court. They must have watched the whole game. One was wearing the white polo shirt and blue warmup pants of the club trainers. The other was in jeans, but wore a plaid shirt and tie. It puts my brain to sleep in a way. I can focus on how good my food tastes and makes my brain stop thinking of what happened in the day. I've had anxiety and depression that I try to take care of every day. They will never go away. I've had to figure out my way of dealing with them.Those demons can make you drown. So working with the public can turn very bad, very fast. My anxiety shows its form when I get overwhelmed, then snap at people. My depression shows itself after when I feel bad for snapping and I apologize. Anyone who knows these demons knows that they can show themselves as complete opposites so you end up fighting yourself even more.After I was done eating my meal for the night, I decided to go play a game. I like to play online because I have a microphone to talk to people who can't get to sleep just like me, who also usually understand the demons I have. You meet a lot of kinds of people on the internet. It's just like interacting out in the real world for me except you.
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