As always I am on fire with his touch. He reacts in the same way. Our hands start caressing and rubbing until I am wet and Nimrod is hard, both of us aching."Where?" I ask him urgently to make his pick of my body's holes. He rubs some more as he decides. I am no longer surprised when he chooses my front, just delighted. It is a slow movement and gently touch with him, he always waits until I come first. We shudder and relax."I missed you too." He whispers as he finishes, then waits until I am done before gently sliding out."That was beautiful, Nim." I say, needing to make sure he understands every time with him is special. I give him a gentle kiss."Oh love." he rocks me in his arms as we regain our breath's. " We are lost without you." Nimrod confesses to me, with a deep sigh."last night?" I ask speculating on what he means.I can feel him nod as he answers "As you can tell, Saul missed you desperately. As did I." At least you had each other." I quickly to remind him."I know," His. Chapter 1: Clearing My HeadTo be honest, this all started because I had that dream again. Thedream that starts with my wife and I leaving the hospital with ournewborn daughter, Rachel and ends with me on the ground, shieldingRachel from the gunfire. I always look to my left, just as I did on thehorrible day, and I always see my lovely wife Sarah on the ground nearme. Her eyes become glassy as her life bleeds out from the hole in herhead. That's when I wake up screaming, every single time.That's how I went from being happily married with a big future, to anervous wreck. Counseling didn't help. I've seen three differentpsychiatrists who kept trying to tell me it wasn't my fault. But itwas. I asked Sarah to give me Rachel so I could put her in the carseat.She said yes, and turned to thank the nurses from the maternity ward.That's when the gunshots came. They never told us what happened. All Iknow was that my wife and two doctors died.Everytime I have the dream, I wake up sweating. So.
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