Neither of us said anything as she just stood there scowling at me, her tits squashed between the folds of her tight dress, looking so hot even though I hated her at that moment. More silence, turning ever so slowly to sexual tension. She looked at me in the eyes, grabbing me by my shirt after a few seconds. She had the most beautiful face, dark, almond-shaped eyes and soft, pink lips. ‘Fuck Andrew’, she said quietly, ‘What the fuck do you want?’ I grabbed her behind her ass and shoved her against my body. ‘I don’t even care about anything else. All I want is you’. It was a lie, and I was sure I would regret this in the morning, but saying ‘All I want is your ass’ probably wouldn’t have been such a good idea. She took my face in her hands and smothered it with an angry, desperate, longing kiss, reaching behind my back to hold me close as she’d done so many times before. My longing for her body overtook anything else I felt at that moment. ‘Take your clothes off’, I whispered. I can see the whole thing now by closing my eyes." But, from that day on I always thought of myself in connection with the Russian rapists. Always. When I was thirteen and I had the first desire of sex, I turned it off. I did not want to be like the Russians. I did not want to hurt any woman as I had seen them do my mother." Then we escaped to the West. My mother and me. I never knew, never saw my father to my memory. He did not come back from the war. There life was more easy, there were automobiles, there was a school for me, and there were girls I could have had. But I could not. I wanted to, but always there was the picture in my mind of my mother and the Russians. I did not want to hurt a girl, a woman. Then, I met Anna, four years ago. I was a virgin. Ya! Still. I loved her when I first saw her. I married her. But we were not happy. I could not tell her why we could not have what she would consider normal sex relations. But she told me. She showed me by introducing me to this.
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