”“Nick!”“You’re female, Serena. Nothing inherently dirty in that. Judgement makes it dirty. Just try, okay?”“Okay.”“Good. Go deep with it. Remember, a woman has a womb. In a way, it defines our difference. ‘Womb-man.’”“Okay.”“What do you feel?”“Internal. A place to take in. And a place to keep guard. Other things ... find who to guard against and who to ... accept in.“Good. Now imagine being male.”She tightens. “I have only seen one example of a man’s ... maleness, and...”“But there’s someone sometime you might allow in, because you want his seed in order to grow a child.”“The asshole changed that.”“But before...”“Yes. In fact it let my guard down.”“Imagine a man who you could trust. Who you could embrace without worry.”“Grandfather.”“Good. Not at all sexual, is it, as far as a threat. Just his gender.”“Yes.”“Imagine that thing that had been a terrible thing to be a good thing because it helped bless you with your mother.”“Yes.”“Imagine you are him, a man. No longer female. Different. In the late summer of my third year in Hungary, my mother-in-law brought my children over for a month's holiday. One afternoon when the mother-in-law had taken the twins for a walk by the lake-shore, Michael - who was now eleven - and I were sitting out on the patio, Michael drinking yet another Coke and me with a local beer (I could just about tolerate the stuff by then). Michael suddenly turned to me and asked, "Dad, are you ever going to forgive mum?" Forgive her for what, son?" For being a silly bitch, of course!"I nearly choked over my beer."You can't go calling your mother a silly bitch, Michael." Why not? That's what she says she is. When I asked her why you left home she said it was because she had been a silly bitch and you would never forgive her for it." I think she meant that what she did was something a silly bitch would do. I don't think she was really saying that she was a silly bitch." Well, she was a silly bitch, wasn't she? To sleep with that creep."I spluttered,.
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