Monday at work I told my boss that I needed to leave work early to take care of some personal business. He asked me what kind of personal business could be more important that taking care of John Cormack who was in town for the day. I don't know why I did it because I usually try to keep my business and home life separate, but for some reason I was just pissed off enough to tell Travis what was going on. Travis laughed and said as long as Jesse was fucking other men I should have her do my customers. "That kind of personal service would cause your numbers to go way up."At first I was pissed at Travis for making light of my situation, but as the day went by I began to think more and more that he was onto something. That afternoon as John and I were discussing contracts I asked him if he would like to help me with a personal problem. He asked what it was and I told him.We were sitting in his rental car at the end of my street when Jesse came out of the house with the kids and headed off. After wards all hell broke loose. After we left the clinic Natasha, in shock, started giving me the silent treatment; as usual I, the thoughtless moron was the guilty one, we both had made love, we both had enjoyed but it was me who had the guilt of the pregnancy. I was the careless one. The return trip to the ranch was pure torture; she became an ice statue, cold, distant, not answering me when I spoke to her. All of a sudden I was reminded of her, my mother, thirteen years ago when I was a teenager, and the reasons for which I had fled my parent's house and why had I not wanted to see her for so many years. Would history repeat again?My heart broke in my chest like a fragile crystal vase.Arriving to the ranch she got down from the car, always silent, and did enter the house, I put the car in the barn and entered the same house not knowing what my role would be from now on. Soon it was made very clear to me,"John, I need time alone to discern what I'm going to do about this ... this.
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