I will attempt to write it in chronological order just as it occurred, but forgive me if I slip from time to time ... because; you see I myself do not necessarily believe it. It is only because I lived it, ah ... am yet living it that I am persuaded of its truth; and my hope is to eventually convince myself it was destiny and not random chance or hallucination. But whenever I look into a mirror and into my eyes the thing takes shape again and I know it to be true.It was April 12th 2006. I was driving home in the dreaded Los Angeles five o'clock traffic, and of course I was stuck behind this woman in her huge sports utility vehicle. She wasn't paying attention to anything other than whoever was on the other end of her cell phone. As we were getting ready to merge onto the freeway I noticed an eighteen wheeler coming on fast, which suggested that all merging traffic should either, break speed and wait until it passed, or speed up in order to merge in front of the truck. This woman. I can't give her up. I simply can't. I've fallen in love with her. I wasn't trying to ... it just happened." That maternal bond is powerful stuff." I love her so much. I just want to ... look at her -- just lie here and look at her. Those little hands ... with tiny fingernails. Sometimes when I'm feeding her she looks up at me and I feel all melty inside." She brushed away more tears. "I love nursing her. I never imagined how rewarding it would be. I love feeling nourishment flowing from my body into hers." It's more than nourishment you're giving her. It's antibodies and other healthy things."Rachel reached for him and he held her. "I'm glad I gave birth to her here," she said. "If we had gone to the hospital ... I would've signed papers and they would've taken her from me already. I wouldn't even have had the chance to nurse her." She reached for a tissue and daubed her cheeks."Are you telling me you changed your mind and you really want to keep her?" Uhn-uhn," she replied. "I.
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