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This is when I started to feel shame about being a "Mummy's boy". I felt that maybe something was wrong with me. I was f******n and I loved being with my Mother more than anyone else. I was starting to think that maybe I was some kind of freak and shouldn't be alive. I became sad. I didn't want to tell my Mum how I felt because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I felt so alone. The only thing that made me feel better was our cuddle's. I would constantly think about how bad all I wanted to do was cuddle with my Mum. If the other k**s at school knew that I was a "Mummy's boy." They would hate me and think I was sick.Finally one evening I was in my bedroom crying when Mum came in. I started to cry hysterically and couldn't stop. She cuddled me for at least an hour until was able to talk.She asked, "Why are you crying like this?"With tears running down my face, and snot from my nose, "I am not normal, all I want to do is cuddle with you. I don't like other girls. Something is wrong. ?Whatever you say lady, what kind of cigarettes do you want?.? I askfor a pack of Marlboro, and wonder to myself just who I?m trying to convincethat this isn?t my scene.? I mean I?m nota prude or anything, at one time I was a pretty wild ?party girl? but now I?mjust a loving wife and mother ?right? I hand her a ten dollar bill, she takes the money, says?I?ll be right back?, and disappears into a back room.? Just then the music starts, a dancer walksout onto the stage.? She?s wearing a redshear mini dress, through which I can make out a black lace bra and matchingblack lace thong.? She?s tall and she hasshort brown hair.? I feel my cheeks flushand begin to feel uncomfortable. I look around, thinking where the hell didthat girl go for my cigarettes, thinking once again?what am I doingthere.? As I stand there watching thisshow, I feel a hand on my shoulder?surprised I almost jump out of my skin. Turning I see? a young dancer by my side.? She laughed, I?m sorry hon,I didn?t mean to scare.
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