Did my choices lead me inexorably to this point? Or was there an uncontrollable, unchosen outside force that got me here? Not that it really matters, because I choose, every day -- every minute of every day -- to live like this. Wasn't it Sartre who said that every day we make the choice to go on living, so we are responsible for the state of our lives -- after all we chose it, right?Right now, even as I type these words, there is a woman under my desk. It's a big desk. I chose it because it was big. Not so I could get a woman underneath it, but for the desktop surface area. It just so happens that I can fit a woman underneath it. She's on her knees, of course. I gave her a pillow. Her mouth is around my cock, slowly sucking and nibbling to her heart's content. She's really good at it. Better than I ever knew in our twenty-two years together. The woman is my wife.There have been lots of changes lately. I wasn't sure when it started. No, I do know - I just didn't know it at the time.. Still makes my heart beat faster just think- ing about it, and it’s been years! I slid my hands up her thighs to the firm, smooth fruit of her ass and began to massage her, but she reached back – still without looking back, her face turned away from me – and pushed my hands away. “No! Just do it, you bastard. Just do it … please. Oh god, please.” I probably knelt there blinking for a few seconds … hurt, but so aroused I could have passed out. My hands shook and my heart pounded. I looked down and saw her sex open and wet from what she had been doing when I came in… and then I just plunged my fingers into her, two or three of them, screwing them into her as I pressed down on the small of her back. She made a deep, raspy noise as she pressed a pillow to her face and I felt her pussy gripping my fingers. I roughly withdrew them, and her ass rose as if to snatch them back. My cock was in position already, and when her ass rose, I pushed.
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