. blackness...Back in hospital, the same bed, the same doctor looking over me. Forced smile, how are we feeling today? Good. Invigorated. Full of life. I feel great. What am I doing back here?Stifled sobs from behind the doctor's back, the room hidden from view by the genial mound of his stomach. Mum?'Joseph, we need a talk when you feel up to it.''Now, I feel up to it now. I told you, I feel great.''Later Joseph. You've had a major shock. Rest a while; we'll talk again tomorrow.''But...'A sting in my arm, blackness descending that I could no longer fight.Fading in and out. Brief, nightmarish images that would come to replay themselves over and over in my mind... needles going into my arms, swabs from inside my mouth and, once, a gloved finger probing the crevice between my legs. Later somebody was speaking to me, holding my hand. I don't know how long they'd been there for. If I concentrated I could hear the words...'You'll always be our son, don't think we don't love you any less,. He and his wife Julie had been regarded by some to be sex mad in their school days, and were rather reclusive, but then why not most, gamekeepers are reclusive it goes with the job. The old lad greeted them warmly and they stood chatting about this and that as folk do, Oliver, the keeper, remarking that Jay, he had seen that he had a new woman, Gamekeepers miss nothing, and Mr Oliver Mellors, was a gamekeeper through and through! Jay grinned and told him the lady “was staying for a while, that she had just lost her husband and her name was Lisa, Joe`s, Pam`s niece!” the old chap laughed scratching his head, his cap in hand and said grinning; “that he was sorry to hear of the loss to one so attractive, and, if Jay couldn’t keep up with this one he would be happy to help out as she was a cumley lass!” (which here about`s was thought to be a great compliment…) Jay grinned from ear to ear saying “only if your Julie was willing to swap otherwise he could manage with a bit of help from.
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