It was the first time I felt being loved and also felt my love to a woman after Mithu.I held her close and could feel her soft breast crushing on my body. But strangely, I never felt the sexual urge that overpowers me often. Kalyani felt like my wife, my lover. I felt like a teenage girl who was desperately in love with me, a love which overcomes all the boundaries and flows to eternity.I don’t remember it now but possibly, she must have cried a great deal for about 10 minutes. As her sobbing subsided, I lifted her head and kissed her forehead softly. Suddenly, she moved away wiping her tears from her eyes with the saree and caught my hand and said, “Come to the other room”.I followed her without protest and she made me sit on the chair. Then she went to the bathroom to wash her face which was quite disheveled. I could hear her going to the kitchen and after a few minutes, she bought a bowl full of kheer that she had made.She stood in front of me and It was the first time I saw a. I found my new talent quite relaxing and pleasant. I guess thatno matter how hard I tried to be Katie, that my true self kept trying topush to the surface. It wasn't long before the head doctors had me onpills. I'm not sure what they put me on, but eventually they found acombination of drugs that had me doped-up to focus during class, andfeeling even more numb than I already felt.I had trouble thinking during that time, school work actually becamedifficult for me, as my normally sharp mind was now wading through aquagmire. I found less and less time to draw, but more importantly, whenI tried to draw, I couldn't "see" things in my mind as clearly as before.I hated these pills and I voiced my concerns. They changed up mymedications again and again. I was so drugged that I really had troubleexpressing my emotions.Katie's mom must have finally gotten through to the doctors, becauseafter a few weeks, I was off most of them. I was happy to finally havemy mind and my thoughts back. .
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