“Don’t be. It’s whatever. I don’t want to care about it. I get why I need to stop, but it just helped me overall. It does suck because it costs a lot, and I know you judge me for it.”“No, I don’t, don’t worry.” I soothed her.“I know you do.” she fired back with some heat. We met eyes and I could see behind the anger, a girl whose trust I’d broken before pleading with me not to lie to her, never to lie to her again. I had to admit, I’d fallen into the habit of telling her what I thought she wanted to hear the most, and in the meantime, had refrained from telling her what I thought and felt. Maybe what I should have been telling her.“Okay, yes. I’m worried though.” I defended myself. “I don’t think it’s how you should ... I mean...”“Live? How I should live?” Molly asked me. I nodded. “Yeah, I’m making a few of those mistakes.” she chuckled to herself. “But I’m making them on my own terms.”“Fucking up on your own terms.” I nodded. “I remember.” We both looked at each other for a bit. She shuffled to the side a little and gave me room to lie down beside her. I laced my fingers behind my head.'Why are you so unhappy?' I asked her.'Why are you always so happy?' she countered.'I'm not always happy, I just don't like it when the people I care about have to feel burdened with my problems.''So you put on a happy go lucky attitude and expect people not to see through it?''Did you?' I asked.'Of course I did. Everyone has a tell, your tell is the fact that even when your face is smiling, your expression is often far away. You think just because other people are envious of you, it doesn't give you the right to feel like you have problems.' She twisted a strand of hair around her finger.'You are very good at deflecting, Pepper Kerr.' I said.She chuckled, 'I had to be. As soon as they found out I had a brain, my parents decided it would be good to just drill me all the time, so I could become this mad scientist or something, I don't know. I would always find ways to divert.
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