John Boehner told me that Newt was timing the whole thing so that it was going to conclude about the time of the mid-term elections.John was still a friend and still talking to me, though he knew that Newt didn’t approve of that. John made up for it by going along with Gingrich on everything else. We were sitting in my home office in December of 1997, having a few drinks and talking shop one night. He was giving me Newt’s plans, since I was no longer in the inner circle.I listened and nodded, and then asked him, “John, let me ask you something. Ever cheated on Debbie?”“Carl! That’s a hell of a thing to ask!” he protested.“Ain’t it though,” I responded. “You know, I don’t care. It’s not my business. It’s yours and your wife’s. Don’t you think this is the same thing?”John had the decency to look uncomfortable at the question. Was it because he knew I was right, or because he had cheated on his wife? I didn’t know and really didn’t care. “That’s true, but it’s not about the cheating,. He sat in the chair, in the dark, alone, wondering how solitude would suit him. ‘I wanted to stay.’ he said out loud with some conviction. The prefecture turned him down. It was predictable. Assignments were made to serve God, and the Order, not to suit individual desires. He accepted the judgment as he had been trained to do. Still, the Guatemala days were his best. He wondered why he had spoken aloud, with no one but him to hear the words. Surely, he did not need to convince himself. He had just read Descartes’: ‘I think, therefore I am.’ Was his existence narrowed to this? Perhaps it was his protest to any Power that could hear that there had once been a spark in him that was sure and happy and delighted to be who he was. Perhaps his soul rejected solitude. Did anyone hear him? He thought not, but ached to be sure. He was too agitated for sleep. He thought he might read some more, but thought better of it. He realized that it was warm and stuffy in the small apartment. He.
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