Minutes passed and I heard Justin come outside and start calling for me. Leaves crunched nearby and I closed my eyes and tried to slow my breathing, trying not to give myself away. The crunching grew closer and closer until it stopped. I kept my eyes closed, expecting a blast of water to hit my face, but nothing happened. I opened my eyes and before me stood the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. He was basked in sunlight and I remember thinking that he looked like an angel. His hair was dark brown and mushed into a fohawk. His hazel eyes reflected the colors of the leaves around me. Then he smiled and my little thirteen year old heart sang and fell in love with this beautiful boy. I was so distracted by the dimples and his perfectly straight white teeth that I didn’t notice his mouth was moving. Then the water hit my face, shocking me out of my stupor. ‘You can run, but you can’t hide, Jilly Beans,’ I heard my brother say before turning to the beautiful boy and offering him his. I’m very, very proud of the way you handled it and yourself, even though I’ve no knowledge of what followed. What’s important was the way you dealt with the human interaction at the start. It shows you’re learning to work new things out and adjust for yourself. Your only real life emotional interactions with men until then were with me, someone you’ve come to love a great deal, someone who you’ve been able to work out a solid pattern with. Then you’re faced with a man who finds you attractive as a woman at a physical level, and you reacted to his signals. In essence, he said ‘you’re sexy I want you, ‘ and you responded to that. You responded at the physical level to his desire for you, his lust ignited your lust. That’s OK. After the ignition things fall back into the give or take options, but usually with a lower level of commitment. In most lust based encounters people either give until the other’s satisfied and then take, or the reverse. Essentially, three major stages - give and.
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