You still stand frozen to the spot where I let go of your hand. I’m standing a few feet away. “Can you see me?” A mute nod. “Say it.” A pause and a mumbled “Yes.” I shake my head. “Say it better.” Your eyes seek mine. Louder this time, “I can see you.” I think my heart is going to beat out of my chest. I don’t know what to think, what to feel. My fantasies are blown to smithereens but... But... You’re here. You want me. I want you to want me. I want. Oh god I want. I slowly pull my tshirt over my head and drop it to the floor. Your mouth falls open. I undo my jeans, unzip, push them down and kick them away. “Can you see me?” Your voice cracks, “I can see you.” I undo my bra and drop it too. Finally I push my panties down and step out of them. Your voice ragged, “I can see you.” “I want to see you too.” You eyes bulge for a moment and I think you’re going to run. The candles flicker in the sudden silence. Then you’re pulling off your hoodie... Your tshirt... Your trainers,. I tried to talk to Kara, and Jennifer and I talked. And even when I came to Chicago, I kept in touch with my dad, Don Joseph, and others.”“I suppose you’re right,” Jessica said. “I really messed up by refusing to talk to you at all. Or to any of you. I especially regret not talking to Kara.”“It’s OK, Jess,” Kara soothed. “I did the same thing to Steve for a long time after my meltdown. I totally understand how lost you felt.”“Katy is going to be OK,” I said, trying to reassure everyone. “We need to focus on our family. Katy and Lauren were going to move out by the end of the year. Now we have three rooms available to work with.”“One for the boys and one for the girls?” Jessica asked. “Who gets the third one?”“At least for now, we should use it as a playroom. That would get all the kids toys and games out of the sunroom. They can still use the sunroom, of course, but this helps keep things a bit neater downstairs. We’ll keep a bed in there for emergencies, but in general, it’ll be.
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