I was amazed at how feminine the dressmade me look!Next I tried on a dark blue suit with a light blue blouse. The blousebuttoned up the back so I had to get help. Mom laughed and said I'dneed to practice dressing since my new wardrobe had a few tricks to it!I pulled on the skirt and pulled the zipper up while it was in frontand buttoned the buttons. I turned it around and presto, dressedwithout mom's help! One small victory in my drive to become a woman!I ended up buying several outfits. Mom insisted that I get the graydress, saying I looked so good in it! We then drove to a nearby mallfor some more shopping. Our next stop was the ladies department of amajor department store. This time the salesclerk was a woman about myage who treated me as if I were her girlfriend as she recommended someoutfits for me.I waited until the clerk walked away and turned to mom. "Why are weshopping here?" I asked, puzzled over the need for casual clothes. "Ithought I was just getting some. For herself alone she went to common, but still what she thought was pretty, kinds of underwear. Not flashy, not breathtaking but pretty colors and fabrics. It was only important to her still because it had always been important to him. There were those kinds of things that she invariably got around to. Her clothes were more sensible than fetching. She saw herself settling into the mode of an aging widow. Friends took her to task about that kind of mind set at only 38 but to her it fit. Her Andy was gone and she had no further expectations for such things. One of the areas where she was displeased with herself, however, was the house, Andy’s ‘old house’. She loved it, of course, as much as he had but she hadn’t the same instincts for keeping it up, tending to it, fixing it, seeing it in repair, as he had. But she did notice the fact that the outside was getting a bit shabby. It no longer was the spectacular brick beauty with the brilliant white trim that it had once been. And even.
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