I fear my words from the prying eyes, and myself even. For my story is as sad as it is monotonous, I can’t bare to think of it myself some days for I have retold the story in my mind a million times over there. A child who’s days of youth were stolen from her. A child who was forced to grow up to early, to see things most never see. To be told not to cry, for that makes you weak, those words alone made her weep even more as a child-woman. To watch with wild eyes those around her loosing precious moments of their lives, to waste them away, to drown their pains, wasting away at a dangerously slow pace. To see those live each day, day after day in shadows of what they know. To tired to change, to change their journey, take the risk on another road. They live what they know, and there I am … the perfect example I see…I live what I know. I woman not unlike most with the hopes and dreams, to find the one person she could connect with, knowing that she was a strong person and that her life. It was her 16th birthday and the new red Chevy - it brought her home. He got her on the damn phone at the bar she was only 16 but he never told her how he knew she'd be on her knees behind the grease bin about five times a day. His name was Johnnie B Goodson but everybody in town and anybody who dared speak to him up at the home place called him Colonel, he was her stepdad and said to call him whatever. That she did. From a nigger to a yankee fag she did before she run. He never hit her once.His grandpa was a reb officer and a mean un and he never quit killin yankees men and kids and women oh he loved a yankee woman after she watched her man get gutted and ate by his boar-hog. It was known to be true and the old men and every girl-child in that county knew that every first born Goodson could become that old man - a witchery they called it.People was afraid of him, and he had married her ma but when he went to switch her for spreadin her legs for that coal man when she was 13.
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