It was, if you must know, at a funeral that this feeling crept up on me. Of my girlfriends stepmother’s cousin. I don’t think even she cared, how could I be expected to? She was expected to be here, and I, not being rude to them, was for some reason believed to like them, and treated as a part of the family – this I did not like, just so we’re clear – and because of that, also expected to attent. I’m weak that way, I’ll even go to a funeral I don’t want to be at to avoid an unpleasant confrontation. So there I was, in a black suit, sitting with a blank expression, hoping people will ignore me, fully aware this was not to be. ‘There you are!’ Why can’t that one just die? It was an aunt, or something like that, and she was talking to me about how lovely a boy he was. I can’t really remember his name to be honest. She was big, in a way you can only get with a combination of genetics and not caring. Not that it mattered what she looked like, but at least I would have something to avert. "Before we order darling," he began "we need to talk about us."My heart sank, all this had been to soften the blow when he asked for a divorce, and I felt tears brimming in my eyes and blinked them back."I love you Anthea," Brian smiled "but we have not been happy sexually since we met..." Brian I know its my fault, but..." I tried to interrupt."Let me finish love." he said softly as my heart sank even further "We both know that the problem is with you and we have tried almost everything in an effort to change it. So far we have had no success, no let me finish. Anthea, I saw a film a few weeks ago on the satellite, it gave me an idea and I've been doing a little reading up on the subject, I'm sorry if I seemed to be neglecting you, but I will do anything to make you happy..." Then you don't want to divorce me?" I blurted with growing hope."What on earth gave you the idea that I'd want a divorce," he gaped "no never mind, I have no intention of divorcing you, even if we can't solve.
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