"Or," Vicki started, "The second explanation would be that you areenjoying it. You feel you deserve it. You are getting a secret, perversethrill from her humiliations and cruelty. I think it makes you feel thateverything that is happening to you is beyond your control and thathelps you cope with guilt or other uncomfortable feelings aboutyour...unusual lifestyle choice." Ohhh," was all I was able to whisper in response. Dr. Mitchell had saidsomething similar to me several times in the past. But not this starkly.Not so directly."But my third theory is even worse, Vicki continued. "I think yourfeelings of powerlessness, which are reinforced each time Sarahhumiliates you, make you feel more feminine." Oh my God..." I replied softly."I'm here to tell you something, Jenny. Being humiliated has nothing todo with being a woman or feeling feminine. I hope you know that. Ifbeing powerless is your ideal of being a woman, than I can't be friendswith you any longer."I knew instantly which of. She needed a nap and couldn’t sleep while I ran the washer, so she went there.”“And did you go with her to tuck her in?”His blush got deeper and his grin wider. “Of course I did. Now, it’s getting time to take you back. Let’s go pick her up.”He let me go wake her. I took a look at the sheet half hanging off the bed, the towels she was sleeping on, the unmistakable odor of sex in the room, and smiled. It looked like Carrie was a woman now. I woke her gently. Whe she realized where she was and remembered what she had done, she pulled me into a hug and cried on my shoulder, happy tears no doubt. She wanted to tell me all about it, but we didn’t have time.He delivered us on time, and for a change Carlos was there. Must have went broke early. He was surly, almost rude to Mike, even as he invited him to go out on the boat, grill steaks, do a little fishing, maybe drink a beer or two. As soon as he was out of sight he demanded the money. Mike had spent most of his cash on Marge and only.
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