............What a fucked up life this is I thought.I had taken my laptop to the states and on it I had photographs of Amanda and I in happier times, some nights my heart would feel heavy at the loss, but I never let it show in my few emails to Amanda, I had been in the states about 5 months when I received a email from Susan saying how worried she was about Amanda it seemed she had lost a lot of weight and was in trouble keeping on top of her job so much so that she had been forced to take some leave to sort herself out. Susan begged me to be kinder to Amanda and ended her email by adding that she really believed that Amanda thought what she was doing was for both our benefits and begged me to call Amanda for a chat if I still cared about her to help her through her depression.That evening I sat down and composed a long email in which I explained all my feelings, the betrayal, the sickness in my stomach and how I hated her and myself for letting it happen, I reminded her how I had. We order something and, if we see the persons fit, we fuck them. That reminds me. There’s a gorgeous young thing working here. Young girl on housekeeping. I definitely want her.”“Oh yes,” Mary said nodding. “I am so going to fuck her before we leave. Maybe we could share?” she continued looking at Cheryl and Sue who were nodding.“No, don’t fuck her.” I said a little bit too quickly. All eyes fell on me so I said, “That’s Kylie. She has a boyfriend. Nice lad called Paul.”“How do you know that?” Sue asked. “How do you know she has a boyfriend and how do you know he’s nice?”“Because I set them up together.” I realised that I must have been blushing when I said it. I tried to avoid eye contact as I felt them staring at me.“Why would you do that?” Cheryl asked letting me go and moving so she could see my face better. “Is there something we should know? Why would it bother you if we tried to fuck her?”I had to stop this. So I took a deep breath and said, “Because I’ve already fucked her.
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