She felt like was going to die when her father's voice called her in for the night. It was as if taking off that outfit and putting away her sketchpads were cutting off her oxygen and she couldn't breathe again until she returned. It was so hard for her to "hold her breath" all day but knowing what awaited her at night gave her the courage to do so.School started a few weeks after Sara had found her new clothes, and just as she feared, "Sissy Sara" was outed there as well and college was as lonely and painful as primary school had been. Her father was pushing her even harder to be the young man she wasn't spiritually, and was barely physically. She was still a short, skinny, pale-skinned boy with big blue eyes and blonde hair far better suited for a girl. Despite all her father's boy training she couldn't play a sport, she couldn't heave an axe, and she wouldn't fire a gun.Sara thought she could almost see defeat in her father's eyes after refusing to fire his rifle. She had. Naked as a jaybird he was. All he could say was “Oh, Nan!” I wasn’t happy.” “Was this in his bedroom?” “Oh no! That would have been forgivable.” “Where then?” “In the orangery. It’s lucky we’re not overlooked!” “What a strange place to be doing it. He wasn’t expecting you, obviously.” “Obviously not! I must say, he’s got a lovely masculine figure. Though at 22, he should be out courting, not playing with himself.” “Oh mum, I’m so sorry you saw it all.” “No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I rather lost my temper with him and hit him with your dad’s cane!” “Ha Ha! Good for you! I remember that cane well. We’ve never laid a finger on him ourselves. How many did you give him?” “Ten, I think. It was going to be six, but I was a bit worked up.” “Sounds like it! Still, he’s lived to tell the tale, and it might have helped you with your decimals! How did he take it?” “Not very well. He was play acting a little I think! Jumping about. Wiggling his bottom like a girl. Kept saying ‘Oh, Nan!’.
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