You live in an 8 bedroom mansion. You drive a $250,000 Ferrari. You get $2,000 a week allowance. You take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?NOW THAT’S A JEWISH MOTHER!✧ ✧ ✧From dorsetmikeShe says “Why don’t you say you love me anymore?”He replies “I said it once, I’ll let you know if the situation changes.”✧ ✧ ✧This one is from fmwarmacSo I asked my wife, “Why do you keep buying plants when you just kill them?”She said, “To remind you what I’m capable of.”✧ ✧ ✧Last week I bought a brand new boomerang, even though I can’t seem to get rid of the old one.People who put some money away each week just aren’t shopping hard enough.I bought some fridge magnets. So far, I have 10 fridges.A jellyfish walks into a hardware store and buys ten drills.Supermarket: a place where you can spend a half-hour looking for instant coffee.How can you spot people who can’t count to twenty? They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.I bought some Haagen-Dazs. I didn’t wait for her to give me an answer I lead her out back. She put two towels on the lawn chairs, I went back inside to fix us something to drink and I got some baby oil. She sat up and drank her liquor in two big gulps, and lay back down on her stomach. I began to pour oil over her body and gave her a great massage. While doing this I wanted to see how she would act if I licked her ass hole. I started kissing her big black bottom then I began to tongue fuck her ass, her soft moans let me know that I was doing a good job. While I was licking her ass she began to finger fuck her pussy. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be so I did it for a long time. She gave me the baby oil and told her to fuck her, but to do it slow. I feed her ass my big black dick at a slow pace, while I was doing this started back finger fucking her pussy. She put the towel that she was laying on in her mouth and began to have a hard orgasm I could see her cum dripping out of her pussy. I was ready to.
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