? I walk into the building and see a gorgeous lady sitting atthe desk I walk up and start talking to her bout my past experience, which haveonly been being tied up by old girlfriends, vanilla stuff.? But when I looked at all the things I coulddo I got nervous and said this wasn?t for me as I started to leave I turned andbumped into a beautiful blonde.? She wasabout the same height as me, blue eyes, nice rack I?d say somewhere in the C orD depot.? I said I was sorry and she gaveme a dirty look.? But then when she spokeit was like she was sorry. ?What are you in a rush for? she said I saw her nametag that said Julie.? I told her I didn?tmean to come and was on my way out but she told me it?s ok and to follow herinto her office.? As I walked behind herI couldn?t help but look at her ass as it swayed back and forth.? She looked back; I think she knew I waslooking.? As we walked in I sat down and so did she.? ?Lets talk aboutyour likes and dislikes.? I completely forgot about me trying to. Sure, if I had my druthers I'd be there for roll call every day. Honestly, I don't know how I'll deal with it. It might be the hardest thing I've ever done or it might be the easiest."I've lain here thinking about it and what I will miss most will be the adrenalin rush that comes when we put it on the line. I like to think I'm more than a one-dimensional person. I would be very disappointed in myself if I couldn't step up and make a new life."What really hurts is that Cindy is not here to walk by my side in all this. I feel better about how she has handled things. I couldn't give up the law enforcement work voluntarily — even if it would have saved my marriage. Now? Hell, I don't know. It's been lonely and I... well I've never stopped loving her. I just don't know, Joe."Mary lingered to chat with me."Jerry, if I'm out of line, let me know. I don't know if you knew or not but I've been having lunch with Cindy fairly often since she — well, since she left you. I know how hurt you were.
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