The first I knew of the results was a wild-eyed brother on my doorstep, with a sobbing wife behind. I managed to dodge the right hook, but the left jab caught me in the gut, and I sank to the floor.Half an hour later my wife’s skills in conflict management were being tested to the limit. Sarah was Millie’s mother, no doubt about that, but Millie’s father was a close relative of Mark, a sibling most likely. There is only Mark and I, so I was the culprit.It didn’t matter how much Sarah and I denied it, and how many dates and diaries we checked, Mark was adamant, I had screwed his wife, and she had my child.The next time Mark and I met, we were sitting in the hospital consultant’s office, with a security guard standing purposefully behind us..“I have a strange request gentlemen, but please bear with me. I would like a samples from both of you of your blood, your tissue, and your semen,” the consultant said as looked at us over his steepled fingers.With that, he marked up three vials with. He did not see the position the way the otherssaw it.To the others, he looked more like a girl leaning on her boyfriend'sshoulder. A little shorter than Keela, Alice seemed to be leaning on heras if for support, and with his breasts almost twice as big as hers, heappeared in every way to be the more feminine half of the couple. Keelaappeared to be the taller, stronger one supplying the support that theweaker one required. It was in that position that Alice told the rest ofhis tale about how unmanly he felt wearing the itsy bitsy teeny weenieyellow polka dot bikini, giving his tale an extra bit of unintended irony."Okay, so they're all singing, and I'm already nervous and now all thesegirls are making fun of me being embarrassed, so by the time the elevatorgets to the ground floor my face is as pink as my nipples. I step back tolet the Girls get off the elevator before me, and when I step out, Keelaimmediately points up at the painted and carved figures on the ceiling.So, I'm not.
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