We had known each otherfor years, both of us had been through the care system and now I livedin a bed sit while she had a small flat.This struck a chord with me as I had always felt that I should have beena girl, I happened to say, "Donna, if I could change with you I would."She retorted, "Bollocks, you mean to say you'd like to be a 'fat bird'like me!" You're not fat," I argued, "you're cuddly and yes if I had the chance Iwould want to be just like you."She looked long and hard at me and said, "Come on back to my place, I'mgoing to call your bluff mister - or should I say missy."I was mystified. "What are you on about?" I questioned her."You just wait and see, come on we've a lot of to sort out." She got upslipped on her pink rain coat, I put on my fleece and followed her toher flat.When we got to her flat and closed the door, she said, "Right, you wantto be me, get undressed." W. w.what," I stammered."Get undressed," she repeated as she started taking her clothes off.I was stunned. "Like you always have with me baby. Nothing in thelast five minutes has changed how I feel about you. Has it changed howyou feel about me?"My mind was swimming and waves of despair were crashing down around me.I had no idea which way was up. My life went from as perfect as I couldask for to a complete mess in a matter of minutes.I needed three things in that moment...one, more answers. Two, time tothink and three, a stiff drink. I knew I probably would not get thelast two because there was no way anyone would allow me to be alone andbecause of this stupid injury I was not allowed to drink.I sighed and dropped my head in my hands. "Do you still love her?" Not like I love you."Not the answer I wanted.A small tear started to form in the corner of my eye. "So you do loveher?"His arm wrapped around me and instead of the protection I normally feltat this gesture, I felt scared. Scared of losing him, scared of stayingwith him.His beautiful dark brown eyes were filled with panic. "No Baby. I.
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