"Sometimes I refer to him in my head as Hottie McTaylor. But we shouldprobably stick to calling him 'Lee'."Her smile turned into a little laugh. "I see. But, yes. Take a step back,ignore your feelings for a bit while you examine both young men anddetermine what it is, logically, that you find attractive about each ofthem. Then compare it with what your heart says. I promise you'll findyour answer that way."I sighed, then nodded. "Okay. I'll try that. It's just hard, you know?All these new emotions and attractions. Not really used to them."She stopped petting my head and lowered her hand to my arm. "This iswhere I tell you that you'll eventually get used to the war that can formbetween your head and your heart. Unfortunately, you'll never becompletely used to it. Even when you get as old as I am."I rolled my eyes. "You are not old, mom. You're beautiful and wise. LikeYoda, only less green and wrinkled."She laughed at that, covering her mouth with her other hand. "Well, thankgoodness. It had been three years since I had seen him. He had married and bought a little spread. We had kept in touch by him posting me care of General Delivery at various places he knew I would be.He told me that just as he was leaving with the herd, Ada had said she thought she might be pregnant. He had almost stayed home, but they needed to sell some of steers that were finally old enough. This Hal Downs had convinced him to drive his much larger gather with his own and would pay him extra if he would put the cattle into the same herd. Money was always short so he had agreed. Curt could see what was behind it all now. With Curt out of the way and dead, he would be free to go after Ada.We relived our childhood and laughed about my having to fight so many times over my name of "Clarence." Even Mom had admitted it had been a mistake to name me that, but she wanted us to have the same initials. Curt was two years older than me and bigger. I was smaller, just under five-ten, but I was quicker..
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