While originally blaming my husband's swinging idea for my unfaithfulness, with Elliot I realized I was promiscuous and stopped blaming hubby for who I was. A woman addicted to affairs, their excitement, and self-esteem assurance. Affairs were a craved drug stimulant that controlled me. Even while with Elliot, I fantasized about milking three men. When it ended, I knew it was partly because it was time for his replacement.After Elliot, I was honest with myself. I craved illicit sex and accepted I was going to continue being libidinous. The real reason for my breast augmentation, was not for myself, not for hubby but for men yet to be met. I don't think even hubby believed it was all for him, though he had no objection and encouraged me when I brought up the idea.I was a sex predator and wanted to experience more men before I was no longer desirable, difficult to admit until the honest realization, I was my father's daughter. The dilemma was not being faithful; was keeping my. " My mouth dropped open and I stared at Sammy with renewed horror as he words sank in. "No turning back..." The words sent a chill through my very soul and for a moment I thought that my heart had stopped beating. "I'm so sorry...." Sammy cried again, though I no longer paid any attention to her. Instead, I slowly walked over to the couch, too numb with shock to think clearly. I dropped onto the cushions and just stared off into space, my thoughts swirling around and around. "Carl..." Evelyn said, gently touching my shoulder, though I didn't respond. "Oh Carl..." Then, when I looked up and saw the horror stricken look on Evelyn's face I forced a smile. Taking a deep breath, I once again forced my fears and horrors to the side, knowing that in time they would fade. At the moment, it was much more important for me to deal with the problem, to deal with the fact that I was stuck rather than moaning about it. "I'm all right." I told Evelyn quietly. "Just a little shocked is all.".
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