For a while, of course, that's all it was. But as Bobby became more abusive, particularly after a night of heavy drinking, I found myself escaping by replacing the unattainable movie stars I fantasized about, with the black strangers I saw all around me in real life.My obsession grew to the point where in my mind, I practically undressed every black man I saw. I fantasized about them fucking me anywhere, anyplace, anytime. I guess part of it was that my husband didn't want me anymore; he liked to hit me, so my head told me I deserved to be taken and used like a slut.It became very complicated, a sort of mixture of the need to be punished mixed with the sexual arousal that was all but consuming me. When a black man looked back at me, that made me feel better. He wanted me; why didn't Bobby?So I began to frequent places where I would be able to see or interact with the men in my fantasies. The local supermarket was first on my list. Black teenagers used the car park as a meeting point. "Nothing will wake her up" I half laughed. "Cool" said Hannah. "What about Gemma. When will she get home" I asked Hannah. Hannah bit her lip again in the sexy way she does. "She'll not be back tonight. She'll end up back at Derek's. Always does on a Saturday night" answered Hannah. "So me and you have the house to ourselves then" I asked knowingly. Hannah bit her lip again. "So why don't you show me your room for starters" I said. Hannah giggled as I took her hand and she led me into her room. The curtains were closed and the bedside light was on which gave off a good light. 'Perfect' I thought to myself. I closed the door behind me as our hands let go. Hannah stood in the middle of the room a little nervously.I removed my trainers with my feet and walked over to where she was standing and caressed her right cheek with my left hand brushing her unkempt golden hair away from the side of her face. "You're really pretty" I said honestly. "Thanks" was the reply. I moved forward and.
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