I had people in the bars that I frequented that I could talk to, but no one that I spent any time with doing other pursuits. It had been the same with women. Either it had been a commercial transaction of one sort or another, or else it had been like two ships having a chance meeting in the night. When you don't know how to do it, making friends isn't that easy. At least it wasn't for me.I am selfish, maybe not as selfish as I was the first time, but still, selfish. I like me. If I could find someone just like me, we could be great friends. The problem was, there weren't any people that I knew, who were like me. If I had been able to find even one, he probably would have been too selfish to want to be friends with me. So, I was lonely. I had my parents, and Tiny and Terri, I considered Connie to be a friend too, but not any other real friends, not to just pal around with. My new voice wasn't going to be my friend, after our first few conversations, I already knew that.I was moving. A new young man had come into her life. As she had excitedly related how wonderful this guy was I silently counseled myself that now we were back in the real world. I took a deep breath, stated I was very happy for her and that he was a lucky guy. I only talked to Jennifer twice from public phones and our conversations had been generally perfunctory. She entered a school on the West Coast and was as busy as I was. Kimberly was not one to chat on the phone but she was doing well. She had returned to her business and her recent publicity seemed to have opened new doors of opportunity. I thought each time after we had hung up that she wanted me to say more.I had thought I might see them earlier in the day at the courthouse. But evidently they had previously given their testimony and in absence had been represented by their legal counsel.So tonight, I found myself back in the real world, ready to start a new life and very much alone. I had been celibate since our return. This was not.
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