Oh, and a scattered flock of plastic pink flamingos. Nice and comfy and everything strictly forbidden by the restrictive covenants. The neighbors were not exactly pleased. Actually they were horrified and proceeded to sue the developers for false advertising and breach of contract. *** Dave was target practicing from his back porch when the developer’s attorney came around the house with a real estate assistant. The lawyer came to tender an offer to purchase Dave’s home and enough property to provide a buffer zone and hopefully stem the lawsuit. Dave wasn’t interested, but Cyn thought the assistant was awfully cute and that develops into another story later. One Sunday morning found Dave and Cyn drinking coffee and watching as their nosy neighbor Ms.Silvia Ferris was heading off to church in her new Chrysler. Cyn ambled out into the yard as Silvia headed out and Cyn saw her sneer, elevate her large nostrils and turn away to avoid eye contact. Cyn smiles and says, “Bet she eats mean. If only I could last. By 3:30 Icould already feel my stomach turning. It felt like there was something bubblinginside me. I wanted to fart but didn't dare. I was afraid I might shit myself.By 4:00 I was really getting the urge to shit. I prayed that I would be able towait. I actually wished that she had left me the butt plug to help me. By 4:30I was ready to explode. I was now watching the minute hand and started to praythat Janet would return early. I could feel all my muscles starting to relax andI feared that I would let go at any minute. I was really breathing hard now through the funnel, and wished she had removedit while she was gone. I felt like I wanted to fart. The clock slowly but surelyreached 5:00 but still no Janet. I knew I was going to let go now any minute andwouldn't be able to stop myself. At 5:06 it all came out. There was a hugesplash in the bedpan and the air was filled with the stink from my diarrhea. Iwas relieved to have it out of me but knew what the.
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