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. . . HEDONISTIC GIRLWe seek ourselves in metaphors,Never knowing who or what we areUntil we learn who and what we are not,And, bereft of the opposite sex,I wonder as I wander, seeking, on my quest,A mirror to mirror my true soul,A fountain of the deep that is deeper yetThan the soul I keep, a looking-glassThat does not look upon a topsy-turvyWorld of white rabbits and caterpillars,But it is too much, I think, to ask,And I simplify, hearing, smelling, tasting,Touching, blind to the rest of me,Insensible to revelation, sightless to epiphany,My only metaphor the perceptionOf sensations that defines the hedonistic girl.SCREAMINGFire streams along the nervesSo hot it freezes me,And I become erect,Gathering myselfInto my nipples and my cock,Intensely aware of my breasts,Of my manhood,And of the extreme unctionOf the fused dichotomyOf my forbidden sexuality;I confess, tears hot upon my face,Pleading, praying, to be seenAs much as forgiven,And God sends fire through me,So hot it freezes. Do you know what I mean?" Oh, absolutely. I know people who are like that. For one reason oranother, they feel they cannot really follow their instincts and exploretheir feminine sides. I met one guy in the store who keeps all hisclothes, shoes, makeup - everything - in a couple backpacks that hestashes in different places. He can't deny the female side of hisnature, so he dresses when he can, yet he can't tell anyone about itbecause of the fears he has of what other's reactions would be. The poorguy was so desperate to interact with other people he opened right up tome. Actually, I am surprised he even came in the store. After all, thatdoes require a bit of a commitment." Oh the poor thing. I can understand his fears though. Having a spousethat would not understand or support you would force you to choosebetween hiding what you do or giving it up. Standing in these shoes, I'mnot sure my choice would have been different than his. And I can't evenbegin to imagine the.
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