I left the kitchen, only to hide behind the door to eavesdrop. There was a pause in the conversation until Trish changed the subject.“Oh Susan, I’m so jealous!” Trish said while sipping her wine. Forget the social stigma, if Mark were my brother, I’d dump my husband for him as well!”I briefly turned my head to see Trish stroking mom’s stomach, a very slight bulge was appearing where my unborn sibling was.“What are you hoping for?” Julie asked.“I’m just happy I get to have one last child before I reach the menopause.” Mom said while smiling. “But another son would be nice.”“At least this time he’ll have an alpha male for a father!” Julie said.The three of them laughed as I walked back upstairs. Wish I never left my room now. A few days later, Mark called me downstairs. Mom and Mark were in their usual cuddling position on the sofa.“Hey, champ! Your mom and I want to tell you something,” Mark said.I sat on the chair opposite them.“Sweetie, Mark and I are going on vacation in The Bahamas. It’s too much. I’m whimpering inside, maybe outside, too. She makes tiny circles in my palms. Her fingers stroke mine, one at a time—base to tip—pulling me away from my self. Stop! No. No, don’t. Don’t stop—ever. I’ve never been touched in this way. I’m exposed. It’s frightening—and liberating. I ache when I think of all the beauty I’ve allowed to pass me by. A single tear drips onto the floor, and with it goes my fear. All the resistance, all the insecurities, all the worries suddenly seem such a phenomenal waste of time and energy. She finally pulls the sheet from my back, rolling it upon itself until it rests on the crest of my ass. This is why I’m here. ‘Neck and shoulders,’ I’d written on the info sheet as my problem areas. Seems like eons ago, but it couldn’t be more than thirty minutes—maybe forty. Moving to the head of the table, she places both of her hands on my back. ‘Your skin,’ she begins, but doesn’t complete the sentence. I give myself to the touch, and she delivers..
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