. Well to be honest -- as I had it figured -- the bitch wouldn't invite me to attend a funeral, if I were the last person left on the planet; unless it was my own funeral, of course. And then ... shit yeah, I would have imagined that the bitch would have happily paid for that bugger.Not that I could ever understand why. But then again, Mel is of the female variety and I am a mere male; the gender they like to keep confused and totally nonplussed about the whys and wherefores, of everything they do.Look, Melanie Frobisher and I go back almost to the year dot. We lived near to each other and we were in the same class all through nursery, primary, junior, and secondary schools. Eventually we even went to the same college; although we didn't in fact do the same courses; I was reading art and she studied ... oh 'eck, I have no idea what she studied ... how to be a real bitch, I should imagine; I weren't bloody interested by then. Anyway, in consequence of our different courses we saw. I explained my job and she nodded but looked dubious."What put you out in the rain?" I asked."Horse thieves," she said. "Think you could get me a drink?"I nodded and stood. She rubbed her stubby nose and said, "Maybe some brandy. I'm chilled all the way though." My old shirt had never looked so well filled although it tended to gap open some since the shoulders were well down her upper arms. She had not bothered to button it any.I could not find any brandy so brought her a glass of apple jack and the bottle. She downed the first one, shuddered and poured herself another. "Calvados," she said, licking her lips."Horse thieves?" I asked."Redcoated ones, three or four, but I was alone. Father's gone off selling some beef. They surprised me some."Above us the bed creaked onward steadily."You still had some stock?"She nodded. "We're in a hollow, easy to miss. How long they been at it?" Not long, half an hour maybe." Lord," she said. "Most of the men I've messed with didn't last ten.
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