I was given multiple chances to convert, to commit to a woman, and live a life as God intended. I failed each time. I was unable to rid my impure thoughts and control my actions. And now, after my third failure, I have been sentenced to die. My execution is tomorrow, at sunrise. I will have lived only 19 years on this earth. I am to die as the Lord did, on a cross, so that others may be spared the sins I have committed. ***To understand my story I must start at the beginning – at my first failure.I first knew I was different when I entered my twelfth year. Our community is small, numbering at just 4000 believers. Most children of the same age know each other. I did not know anyone who felt as I did, at least none who spoke openly about it. We were taught about the dangers of self-pleasure by our pastor at this age, but the minds of children are difficult to stop and secrets were passed around often. I quickly learned how to pleasure myself and did so in secret. But I. " Joni stated."Only because of Jay!" Genie slurred. I turned and stared in her eyes. She looked at me knowing from my expression not to say anything like that again." Come on Jay, don't be embarrassed showing us your scar. Joni said."It's not the scar, I don't like showing my body to strange women. I am very shy!" I said."Don't believe him, he is not shy about anything!" Sue remarked."Sue! Did you tell them that I wet my pants in the third grade too?" I asked laughing."I haven't gotten around to that yet." She laughed."Let us see it!" Joni said. I pulled the side of my shirt up to show them."Sexy, isn't it!" Sue stated."Let me tell you something about Sue!" I said smiling at her."Don't you dare!" she scolded me knowing what I was thinking."Come on, tell us." Taylor demanded."I'm going to save it for a rainy day." I replied laughing."It must be a good one if Sue doesn't want us to hear it." Taylor remarked.Everyone began talking between one another. I looked at Sue and smiled. She had.
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