Dripping resentment and overflowing with self-pity and bitterness. Socially inept. Inept in just about every other way.Especially I remember Marianne. She was a tall, blonde cheerleader with big breasts, round hips, and a well-upholstered behind. (Weight loss and dieting would not become a ruling passion among females for some years yet.) My heartthrob, she was. She made my heart throb, all right. Unfortunately, the reverse seemed not to be the case. She didn't even know who I was and nonchalantly brushed off my feeble efforts to approach her. It was a damn good thing I didn't need to ask her for the the time of day, because she likely wouldn't have given it to me.Why then, did I attend the thirty-fifth anniversary class reunion? Partly out of morbid curiosity and, who knows, I might just get some satisfaction for all the slights I had endured from my former classmates. Vengefulness has been a part of my nature for as long as I can remember.The refreshments could have been better.. She knew it and I knew it. Our fates had been sealed a long time ago.That chemical bond is what allowed me – really forced me – to share her. Like owning a hovering gleaming of raw energy, I couldn’t only use the light or feel the warmth myself. No matter what happened, I’d always own it. Benevolence seemed the only option. But make no mistake; I had cruelty in mind as well. Give them a little. Make them know what they are missing. What I have that they’ll never own because only I can own it. Only I will ever own it.We sipped wine after dinner, banal conversation continuing. Steered away from politics (she hated Trumpian semen inside her, on her breasts, in her mouth.) Sports bored her, not that I really cared. She liked movies, but he didn’t really have much to say about the stars of the upcoming sequels.At the same time there was a magic to drawing him through it. The casual homogenized conversation just enthusiastic and vanilla enough to put a doubt in his mind. Had it really.
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