"Look, Steven, there's a reason we can't be together. I don't even know how to start to explain it to you. I do love you," and my voice cracked, just slightly, as I admitted it again, "but I can't be with you. I want you to make love to me. You'll understand after, I promise. I need you to trust me, just for a little while."I steeled myself and met his gaze, his eyes searching my face. The frown and deep creases in his forehead remained. I almost started to cry again, but I managed to blink the tears away and hold my gaze steadily on his eyes.He studied me silently for several minutes, my hands relaxed inside his. I could almost see the wheels turning. I wondered what he was thinking, but knew better than to ask. I stayed quiet.Finally he appeared to come to a decision; I was suddenly terrified. 'What if he says no? What if he doesn't want to have sex with me? Oh God, I should never have brought this up, ' I thought. 'Too late. I'm so stupid. He's going to say no... '"Okay, Sarah.. " Mantra's okay, I guess," the boy replied, unimpressed. "It's just thatshe's a girl and girls are never interesting."Mantra may have a lot going against her, but being uninteresting isn'tone of them. Even so, I couldn't get too peeved at Gus's attitude,having been a little boy myself once. I remember going through my own I-don't-like-girls phase. "I think you'll be sorry if you don't buy the all ultra glasses, Gus," Iadvised him, "because Burger King won't be selling them forever. If youask me to, I'll give you one of my Mantra glasses for your collection.But if you want any of the other super-heroines, you'll have to use yourallowance." It's never too early to teach a youngster that money doesn't grow ontrees.The boy let out the low, throaty noise which I've learned is kid-language for, "Aw, Mom, you're going on about nothing again."Instead of letting the subject die quietly, I said, "Gus, I bet that acomplete set of Burger King ultra glasses will be worth at least ahundred.
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