Her Mother was in a foul mood all day and was drinking heavily. Too heavily for her daughter's liking. She snapped at everything Chrissie said or did, slumped in her big arm chair and lit cigarette after cigarette until the whole lounge stank.Chrissie hid in her room, read or wrote in her diary. She wanted to ring Justin but knew he'd be with Angela. She was miserable and jotted down her feelings page after page.Tomorrow evening Justin was going to take her to a new movie at the Rialto. Her Saturdays with him had become the central thing in her life. She didn't know what she would do without that. Her mother had become distant and moody, her friends had drifted on to boyfriends and no longer had the time to spend with her. Fridays for her were always an ordeal.Sometimes she'd place a pillow between her legs and finger herself with Justin's face in her mind's eye. Tonight, however, she was too depressed to bother. Chrissie became aware of a soft knocking at her door. She put away her. "You never understood the first thing about Sarah or what she meant to me. Now you never will." I turned away and started down the steps. I wanted to get away from this glittering rich man's house of worship where no God had ever visited. All I wanted right then was to return to my own quiet world of near anonymity. I fought back the tears I felt welling up in my eyes. I was damned if I'd let him or any other person see a sign of the depth of my feelings."Don't you turn your back on me!" he screeched as I went down the steps, to get away from him before I lost my temper. I was damned if I'd let the arrogant, selfish fool goad me into what I would consider a sacrilege, to fight on the church steps right after her funeral services were over. He yelled foul names at my back and I kept walking away from him.I walked the whole four miles back to my house, my eyes burned and my throat ached as the hurt inside refused to go away or even diminish. She was gone forever now and I'd have to get.
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