Nagging worries over what my family would say, or how to hide it from them were banished by his words, soft, weighed and filled with portent. "In the short time you've known me; I've been gentle and considerate. I was concerned about Emily, that for some reason this may not have been what you really want, but were just trying to please her. I need to put that to rest before I will move forward." It was a long speech for him, not being in my short experience much of a pointless talker. He was waiting for something from me. I studied him, lots of unsaid things held back. He was clean cut, fit, professional, a few years older than me and apparently a dentist. He had been quite kind during our short contact; something which I had hoped would be the case as one result of my deceit. Guilt that I had cheated in my personal advert in the bondage magazine welled up, and this time I allowed it to settle in me while I looked out at the cold morning, the trees laden with frost, a world. How could she do such a thing, it went so much against all that I knew about her.There was now no way that I was going to stop questioning her, I had to know more.I began to feel a little wicked about making her tell me these things that I knew that she would never tell me of her own will."Uncle Charles must have been much younger then?" He was only twenty at the time." Did you and Uncle kiss often after that first kiss?" Oh yes, every time we were alone together. Your father was often away from home and we had lots of occasions."I then made up my mind to ask her the big question. I now knew that it would be impossible for me to sleep that night if I didn't know if she and Uncle Charles had slept together."Tell me mother, did he ever sleep with you?"It took her a good ten seconds before she softly whispered her answer."Yes."Disappointment and emptiness took hold of me. It felt as if someone had cheated me of something very precious to me, but I could exactly say exactly why I felt.
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