‘Now I understand why my mom and dad’s death didn’t hit you so hard.’ She had caught me in one of my more unguarded moments, I had just lost a very good friend and she was comparing her own father to my friend. Hell she was old enough, so I told her everything, from the death of our mom to the reluctance her father, my own brother, had to look out for me as I handled the loss of our own mother. The vicious vindictive things both said and the verbal but never physical abuse both gave me. The pattern of abuse increased when my sister-in-law found herself pregnant. To them I was a worthless piece of shit that was taking up room and eating food and the sooner they could get rid of me, the better they could live their life and not have me under their feet. The happiest I had ever seen them around me was when I finished high school and headed off to college. It was my involvement in the ROTC course that eventually had me sign on the line. Hell they even had a civil word to say to me.. It was going to be dinner, a night drinking in the city and a hotel stay. It sounded great and I would be an adult for the night. At seventeen, you think you can handle alcohol, but I drank a bit too much during the meal. I thought I was fine, but then we hit the town and after a couple of pubs, I was feeling very unsteady. Rod decided to we should go to a strip show and we all lined up outside the club. “He’s not eighteen, he can’t come in.” The bouncer eyed me up, I swayed as I tried to remember what my birth date should be if I had been old enough. “It’s alright Rod, I’m not a great one for strip joints. I’ll go back to the hotel with him,” Mrs Robertson had spoken. I felt like I was back at school and she was the headmistress. Sitting in the hotel bar Mrs. R. ordered two Irish coffees. This was new to me, the hot coffee and strong whiskey burnt my throat. She seemed more relaxed in the bar drinking her coffee, stretching her long legs out, she almost lay in the chair. I started.
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