However, the tensions eased as we began to chat and play together. They were happy with the new dynamics that an extra person, even a boy, brought to their pastimes. I was amazed at how at ease I was with them, I could relate to the girls better than to any boy. I liked their attitude, enthusiasm, empathy, and willingness to share their mischievous fun. We steadily became good pals. Mum and Ruby were delighted, but Stan didn't approve. “You’re a sissy.” Nevertheless, he never ratted me out to his chums.Michelle, Irene and I regularly played and studied together in Ruby’s home or my own. On occasion, they’d even use me as their mannequin or model to try out combinations of clothes or new hair or makeup styles. I was surprised at how at ease that I was with this, but then I was just happy to please my friends. Our partnership worked well during cold dark times of winter, but in early spring when the sun was shining and everything starting to come to life, I began to feel guilty that. The past month or so has been quite different for me. I thought maybe the books I’d been reading had something to do with it. Now, I’m not so sure. I’d actually happened upon the first book by accident a few months ago. I’d gotten a whole box of books from a yard sale. Some were the murder mysteries and crime drama I typically read. Most were silly romance novels, where impossibly cute pirate captains rip off the bodices of a young, hapless female captive and she falls instantly in love with him, though he treats her like scum on his boot until he loses her, then figuring out he loves her too and crosses the world, leaving a path of dead in his wake as he seeks her out. Those kinds weren’t really for me, so I donated them to a local retirement center. However, I did find one book that, I am nearly ashamed to say, and I could barely put down. The simple red covers held between them a world I’d never seen, one that spoke to stray thoughts I’d had since I was young. I loved.
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