I want you to choose to accept the pain I inflict because it will please me, even if you find it distressing.“Do you understand?”She was still for a while, then shook her head no. “No, I…I don’t. Why will me being frightened or anxious or…or in pain make it better for you…or me?”I nodded. “That’s why we’re having this conversation. Because you don’t understand. I’ll give you a partial explanation, but ultimately, you’ll have to experience these things to truly understand them.“In some people, there is a direct connection between pleasure and pain. I believe you are one of those people.“Others, like me, get pleasure from causing pain – but I'm not a sadist, so it’s not about the pain itself. It’s about your willingness to accept pain, humiliation, embarrassment or almost anything I want in order to please me. That is something I find incredibly exciting. It’s why it’s called ‘dominance’ and why someone like me is called a Dom.“And that is why trust and communications are so important.. She'd put the brakes on everything, and then I'd be right back where I started, only worse. I'd have done all of that suffering and surgery for nothing. She'd even talk Henry into having me put under the knife again to try and make me like I was. They were that tight. Is that sick or what? The two of them together were just impossible to deal with. I had no choice, don't you see! I had to kill him. He left me no options, no maneuver ground. I was up against a wall, as surely as if he and that smart doctor bitch he liked so much were standing there offering me a last cigarette and a blindfold. Fuck that! Henry wasn't going to see that lady ever again. I was determined!Fortunately, it was easy. You see, Henry was on Prozac and you know, that much stronger and newer, dizzy dame drug of the month. I went into our bedroom. He always left them right where anyone could get to them; on my side of the bed even. All I had to do was empty the bottles into the toilet. Just to.
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