We both had lives before we met and we both accepted the fact that we wanted to grow old together. It hasn't always been easy. When we got married we had no money, no job prospects and everyone who knew us kept asking us what we were going to do for funds. We didn't care, those things work themselves out: We're In Love! And we were.But guess what? 90% of our fights the first few years were about money. Who spent what, how were we going to invest it, why do we have all this debt, how come one of the bills was paid late? It was tough and a wake up call for both of us that love is not enough to maintain a relationship.We grew together and honestly I could think of no one closer to me than my wife. Now reading all these "loving wives" stories, I began to wonder if I was so holier than thou, better than all those schmucks in the stories who also thought that nothing was wrong with their marriage, until they saw their slut wife pull a train at the ten year high school reunion.We professed. “I have no idea if this is the end or not. I’m confused as hell. I’ve had long talks with my friend Anala and I spent an hour reading my journal before I called you. I’m just telling you what I figured out. It’s way more complicated than we thought it was when we talked about me seeing you as Birgit. All I can say is that I’m not committing to anyone until after I graduate. The next step is really up to you.”“You just told me that our entire relationship is basically a fantasy. How can it be up to me when you don’t think there’s anything for us?”“That’s not what I said! I didn’t say anything about what happens next, just about what happened in the past.”“But if the entire foundation of our relationship was silly, as you called it, what can we ever have?”“An adult relationship, borne out of shared experiences. It more or less means assessing who we are and figuring out if we might belong together, rather than assuming we do.”“So what do you want to do? Do you want me to come to.
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