Five or six people shot past us, openingJane's room door before any of us could react. I heard a startled shoutof Jane's mother in the room.Darren and Hank started to rise, but I didn't move. I knew what washappening. I knew why I'd been allowed the final moments of J.J.'slife. She was dying and there was nothing that anyone could do now.J.J.'s mother appeared, stepping backwards out of the room as a nurseclosed the door on her. Darren stepped to the mother's sideimmediately, touching her shoulder."The machines..." J.J.'s mother said then repeated herself, a look ofhorrified shock on her face. Darren led her to the chairs and Hankhelped.It struck me suddenly then that I didn't want to be here when ithappened. When J.J. passed, I didn't want to be here because I sensedwith uncanny certainty that I would feel it and it would be horrible.It would leave my heart empty and hollow.I stood up and began to run."Red!" My brother called but I didn't stop. I ran down the longcorridor, tears in. Amanda wanted to help us out. I think we should take her up on it. In fact, I took a chance and already told her that we would accept. I hope you don’t mind. It just seemed like the right choice to me.”I agreed that it would probably be a better choice in many ways. I started thinking about the things we would need to do to get ready. Even though the reservation would automatically expire, the agent was so pleasant I felt the need to let them know of our change of plans. That only took me a minute to accomplish.I decided to fill Mom in on my plans for the rest of the week and called her at work. She appreciated my letting her know and wished us well. I left Amanda’s name and number on the board in case she needed to reach us. I had asked for and received her permission to borrow a suitcase from her. It lived under Mom’s bed.Kim and I found it, and we packed clothes for me to take. The suitcase I got from Mom was full-sized and excess to my needs. Considering the probable wealth we.
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