The only difference was that Hal asked me about my impressions of the Board of Directors. I told him what I thought of the three men, Geoffrey Higgins, Edward Johnson, and William Suffrin, and Hal agreed with me. That was when he told me how they had come to be on the board. "I'm looking for a decent excuse to get rid of those three, and I would appreciate hearing any ideas that you might have." I can't think of anything at the moment, but I will let you know if I do come up with something."Well, something did occur to me, and I discussed it with Arlene that evening after our usual sexercise. "Honey, you father has asked me to come up with a good excuse to get rid of three men currently on the Board of Directors of WDI. I have an idea, but I want your opinion before I mention it to Hal. You may find the discussion embarrassing, but I do need your input." Sure, go ahead. I can't imagine something so embarrassing that I could not discuss it with you." Okay, here goes. It involves your. I thought about who I was and what I wanted. Did I want this marriage to continue? Did I love Edie? I deliberately avoided telling her I loved her. I wasn't sure myself and so it was better not to mislead her if I had lost that love. How would I know? I once read that the test for love was to imagine your life without your partner. Divorce, death, whatever reason ... how would I carry on?Could I get past her deceit those many years ago and forgive her? At first I didn't think so. But now ... now I'm not so certain. She couldn't take it back. She couldn't make it right at this late date. Could I live with that as well? She had to admit to her sin before I could decide. She had to acknowledge that she had inflicted another deep wound in me.And what about this act I had performed. The new, dominant Howard Carver. It was an act. I knew that. Could I sustain it? I doubted it. Perhaps in some less aggressive and challenging form. Someone I could actually become without disliking myself. I.
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