I stretched over my chest of drawers to grab my phone and then rolled onto my back again before I answered. ‘Hey Al, how you doing?’ ‘Hey! I’m OK, thanks. How was school?’ (Al had never called it college, and I didn’t bother correcting her–and besides, it was cute.) ‘It was OK. There was a fight in class today and I saw an accident on the freeway.’ I was kind of tired and so the usual excitement of such events was missing from my voice. ‘Are you OK? What happened?’ Suddenly she didn’t sound relaxed anymore, I could hear the anxiety in her voice. I explained how the fight had started and who had hit who and why, and the accident on the freeway. She calmed down again when she realised that I wasn’t involved in either incident. We then traded stories for another two hours, as she told me about the friends she was making at ‘school’ (she was taking a three month computer training course). I was relieved to hear that they were all girls. She kept me up to date with her sister’s. I have no right to live on. But I do.I could annoy you with repentance and remorse, but I won't. Not because I don't honestly feel it. I do feel remorse, about ten tons of it and they all weigh on my heart.But there is no point, is there?My love is dead. George is gone. So is every dream I ever had. I carelessly and thoughtlessly threw them away. I betrayed and killed the one good thing I'd carried within me — George's love.What's left of me is just trash. Worthless trash to be put away and destroyed. I should follow him as soon as they let me out of this hospital.But I can't.I remember the ice-cold flash of damnation. George's face was dark and ugly with rage. I remember the sense of finality.The shame.I was on my knees on the bed. The tip of Ralph's hard cock rested on the curl of my tongue. The painted nails of my fingers dug into the hard flesh of his ass cheeks. I pulled him towards me. I had to have him, to swallow him. My tits swung freely down from my chest. A sweet and.
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