Seemed it was getting serious between them.I was somewhat surprised that my parents assigned them the guest bedroom, leaving Lorraine and I to fight over the remaining bedroom with a double bed. We tossed a coin and I lost. I was not particularly bothered, since the room I was left with, while being very small and having only a single bed, was my old room.The three of us got on well together, though sadly we saw little of each other over the course of the year. Lorraine was working and living in Newcastle and Patrick was in Leeds.I had my parents to myself for Friday night. Lorraine arrived on the Saturday morning and Patrick and Marie would join us on Sunday afternoon.Lorraine was always fun. She was loud and always happy, always laughing. Once settled in and having assured our parents she would be in all night, she dragged me out shopping.Of all the women in the world, for me there is only one who makes shopping fun: Lorraine. She prattled on about life, asking my advice on. In a flash of intuition, I realised that he was not happy with me andthat I would not be on his Christmas card list.'YOU BITCH!''Sorry, do you mean me?''Course I do. How dare you leave me looking like a plonker in thatrestaurant.'I was kind of speechless. Luckily, I heard a voice from behind me.'Mr Davis, how nice to see you; lovely tie by the way.''Never mind my sodding tie. I want this cow out of here tonight; now infact and she can take her snivelling brother too.'Sheila pulled me away from the door and stood in the doorway.'Now Mr Davis, I'm a nurse and I can tell by your red looking face thatyour blood pressure is way too high. Why don't you go home and giveyourself time to cool down before you hurt yourself.'It was now that Davis, the hypochondriac kicked in and he went from redto pasty in nanoseconds.'Do I look ill?' He squeaked anxiously.'Well, you are a trifle overweight, with signs of insipid crappyism,not to mention halitosis and other disturbing signs. You should go.
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