She worked for several years in radio, but this was the most difficult tape she had to make. Her mother had limited eyesight so any letters to the family had to be taped. Cindy broke down six times trying to make the tape. After the last take, she threw herself down on the bed and cried for a half-hour.The letter was an idea proposed by Cindy's counselor. It ensured that she could finish what she had to say, and it could remove the effects of someone being shocked and saying something they would regret later. It seemed like the cowards way out to Cindy, but then she never claimed to be brave.Suddenly, Cindy pushed open the car door walked quickly to the mailbox and deposited the envelope. As the door to the box closed she felt an instant of panic, then a feeling of sad relief. Whatever happened now, happened. It was out of her hands now. By this time tomorrow, things would be radically different. Maybe better, Maybe worse, but definitely different. She didn't look forward to. ‘Well?’ I said. He smiled his lovely smile, ‘Oh yes,’ he said, ‘I will.’ ‘Don’t boyfriends usually sit next to girlfriends?’ I asked coyly. He looked worried at this. He would have to sit next to me now wouldn’t he. ‘Come on,’ I said, ‘don’t you want to?’ I was trying to make him move towards me. I thought that if I moved towards him he might be frightened off. I also thought that he wanted me, he was making sure that his groin was covered by the towel! He took a deep breath, gathering courage I suspect, came over and sat next to me, making sure that the towel didn’t reveal anything. ‘That’s better,’ I said. ‘Are you glad I didn’t go into town.’ I gave him my totally innocent look, wide eyes, looking up at him through my lashes. He didn’t stand a chance did he? He was a bit stiff (and I don’t mean like that!!), holding himself in check so I touched his arm, ‘Well, are you?’ He relaxed a bit, ‘Yes, I am.’ Then a deep sigh, ‘Oh Joanna, I’m sorry. I’ve never had a girlfriend before..
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