"Right now I want to call Mom and tell her I ran into Liz." Tell her I said hello," Sarah said."Mom or Liz?" I asked, just to be a dick."Both, Retard," Sarah replied.Annabelle Blakely was a creature of habit. She was also my mother so I knew most of these habits. Foremost was her after-school ritual. She would see the last of the tykes onto the bus, tidy up the room and then head home. Once safely ensconced in her abode, she would kick off her sensible shoes for bedroom slippers, abandon her school attire for comfy shorts or sweats and sit down on the couch with a book or her Kindle and eat cheese and crackers while sipping a glass of wine.It had been this way when I was a boy; it had been this way when I was a teenager; it was this way now that I'm grown and living 3,000 miles away. I hit the button to call her at exactly one o'clock (or four p.m. in Ohio)."Did I catch you before you sank into the sofa?" I asked when she answered."Barely," she replied. I could hear the smile on her. No, it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be okay because if you’re Holly you suddenly find out that the Great Guy who’s sweeping you off your feet is really just a Non Threatening Profile Picture and A Weekend Of Search Engine Results. He’s actually just a Real Jerk. He’s actually just the Office Slut and you’re not Just Holly anymore, you’re Last On The List.If you’re me you remind yourself not to fall for Holly. You repeat it a few times until it sounds true, but no so many that it doesn’t sound like words anymore. Me? The real me? I’m wondering what that’s called and it’s on the tip of my tongue and so I look that up too. Presque vu; the sensation of being on the brink of an epiphany. Distracted. Disoriented. Rarely Lead To An Actual Breakthrough. It’s some me between Real Me and Holly’s Me. If you’re me you move the little mirror by your computer on your desk because you don’t know the person who’s face you see looking back at you. Jamais vu; when a person momentarily does not recognize a.
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