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Maybe she wouldn’t burst in, she worried, and maybe that was just a coincidence that she came over in the mornings. She pulled into the tiny driveway and parked the car, Before she could say ?Here we are!? Hester leaped from the car and ran around to the front porch. She started jumping up and down frantically, squealing in excitement. Carrie thought she was just excited about seeing her place for the first time but then a groan came from the porch. She knew what that meant. ?Hurry, Carrie – I can’t hold it anymore? Please? I have to go really, really bad?? Carrie quickly dragged Hester’s large bag from the backseat and pulled it up the tiny walkway and onto the porch. She fumbled for her door keys and then quickly let her sister rush in. ?It’s towards the back of the house. Go through the bedroom and it’s right there.? She heard the door bang shut and then a faint ?Thank You!?. She drug the large suitcase back to the bedroom and with great. Her reluctance to "go all the way" cannot be attributed to either shynessor a "fear of commitment," either.Nor do I regard her as being a "tease."I think she makes me wait for another reason altogether. I think she isafraid.I think she's been hurt before.And badly.So badly that she never wants to be hurt that way again, by anyone--notthat I would ever hurt her, or could. She knows that, I think, rationally.But she has to believe it, too; she has to feel it. Trust too easily wonon one occasion is exceedingly difficult to extend to anyone else on lateroccasions.I had given her time. We had been lovers for months now, talking, holdinghands, kissing, and, now, only lately, getting half-naked and caressing,face to face and breasts to breasts. We'd made progress. I could bepatient. I could wait.I would give her all the time she needed, all the time in the world.I know something myself of the pain of rejection, of being judged, ofbeing mocked and scorned. It isn't easy being a girl--or, at.
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