I drove right by him, of course, but as soon as I'd passed him I had a thought of picking him up and offering to blow him. Reality hit, of course, since there was no way I could offer to suck him off without speaking and getting myself read, but even if I somehow could find a way past that, and did start sucking him off, the potential for violence if I was discovered was too great. I kept driving down to the boardwalk, and though it wasn't summer yet and there were no major crowds there, the video arcades were open year round - so I found a parking spot a block away, grabbed my purse, and headed towards the arcade. The rain had stopped, and as I got to the boardwalk there were a group of teenage boys leaning against the railing near the arcade entrance. I walked past them self consciously, and not a sound came from any of them - but as I turned to go into the place, I looked back quickly and saw that most of them were staring at me. Once inside, I went over to the bill changing. I was the one taking that load down my throat or all over my face, shooter's choice.It was then... as I came like a pathetic faggot... that I realized I too was a submissive... just like my son... just like all those other white men.I knew without a doubt if I was put in that situation again with Jamal, I'd succumb.Fuck!I had to control this weakness.I had to be strong not only for myself, but for my son.It was no life to be addicted to BBC.It was no life having to be humiliated like my son.It was no life to be at the whim of a black man and his black cock.Fuck!I cleaned up my mess, logged out and showered again.I went downstairs for breakfast and was pleasantly surprised to see Amy at the kitchen table, having bacon and eggs with Ben.I greeted, "Morning." It's actually afternoon, Dad," Ben said, pointing to the clock.12:10.Fuck, how long did I watch those BBC videos?"So this is what it's like to be you and waste half the day away," I joked."Refreshing, isn't it?" he smiled, showing.
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