It was an accident. He knows that, I know that, I've made my peace with it. But he blames himself." Not for the accident," I said, stilling the room, "that's not what worries me. What worries me is just what you said—that I didn't listen when you said No. I don't like those kinds of people. They're careless. They think only of themselves. They don't care what happens to other people. I don't want to be that. And yet I was. And I can't let that happen again. Especially not with something like sex. So, yes, you're right, this is why I'm not—what'd you say—whipping my thing out more frequently. Because I'm scared that I'll accidentally hurt someone with it when I do." Oh, come on," Sajel said, "you made the mistake once, I really doubt you'll make it again. You're not a careless person, Brandon, you do care, at the deepest level of your being you do care, and you want people to care back. You let it get out of hand once, you learned from it, I know it won't happen again."I sighed.. My mother left him here in town and took my daughter with her to village, to spend their summer holidays. And here, alas, my brother is spending his holidays within the four walls of our bathroom, playing with his loin-bat. Out of sheer shock, I barked at him like a frightened dog. And I didn’t know why, I slapped him shouting, “Othavaakkarap payalae! (Useless boy!)” and walked out breathless. My brother was ten years younger than me. Smacking him was not new to me. In his childhood, I have used it on him so many times to discipline him. And lo now… a spoiled kid! The very day he arrived at our home, I was drying my daughter’s wet hair with a towel and she was naked, after her bath. By then, the rice-cooker started whistling. I pushed my daughter in the hands of my brother to dry her further and rushed into the kitchen. After attending to the rice-cooker, I put out my head to see whether my brother was comfortable with his assigned job, for my daughter was not an easy one to manage..
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